When you finally find your life partner, you feel like this is it. The happiness is so profound that every cell in your body bursts with ecstasy. Then you slowly plan your future together, sometimes even debate the name of your future kids. In all this joy and celebration, you start planning your wedding. Until now everything was fine, but then every story has a villain.
No! we are not talking about your picky and nosy relatives! But the slow poison of social expectations that sneaks into your mind. Suddenly, the wedding ceremony becomes more important than your love. You start to think that everything should be great. And with that, the poison slowly burns a hole in your pocket.
We want you to take a deep breath and relax, and maybe listen to what we can say.
1. Dream from Childhood
Some centuries ago, the kings and queens were the ones with the most lavish lives. In our time, the rich have taken their place. We grow up observing those who have more money, freedom, and power. Not to say it isn’t true but it definitely has its impression on us.
When we are kids, the bride and the groom appear to us no less than the kings and queens. As children, we dream of becoming the same kings and queens when we grow up. As adults, we still have that unconscious desire lingering in deep corners of our hearts. We want to be the same king or queen for a day.
Sadly, this illusion makes us put a great effort into our wedding day without thinking much about the married life ahead. For some, marriage is just the wedding. This bubble breaks when the 7 days of the wedding are over.
2. Spending More Leads to Happiness
We have been conditioned to think that spending a lot leads to more happiness. So much, that we keep doing it even when we do not derive any happiness but only the pain of overindulgence.
This act tells a story of the deeper psychological phenomena of humans. We are social beings and we seek conformity, unconditional affection, and support. What is a better occasion to show power, freedom and gain social conformity than weddings? So, everything new which comes in the market is just a means to show that and fulfill our deeply rooted unconscious desires.
3. Societal Norms
Everything exists for a reason and it is the same social structure and environment in which we grow and make friends. One needs social support and acceptance.
Society seems to be both a necessary evil and good, depending on how you see it. In school, you make friends, have a great time, and maybe some of them are still with you. Perhaps it was your workplace where you found your dear spouse or even through the Manzimyar.
Have you realized the society is your big family? To continue to be part of it, one needs to follow the norms set by society. Sabh-Moh maya hai! (everything is an illusion).
In this endeavor, we judge others creating a trap for ourselves by putting unwanted pressure on ourselves. Makeup artist, pre and post-wedding shoots, expensive dresses, etc. are a must these days. Nothing less is acceptable by social standards, thus, it has become a norm.
4. Fear of Losing Well-wishers
An event is celebrated with our well-wishers and allies, whom we expect to wish for our prosperity. By not following the norms, one fears of losing the allies.
However, one forgets that you will only lose the pseudo-well-wishers. For real ones, human well-being is more important than money. Remember the smile of your near and dear ones for whom you live. Celebrating is nothing but sharing this sweetness of life.
5. Judgmental Relatives and Friends
We all have that one friend or relative who has plenty of wealth and resources, and there are even some who wag their tail around him/her. Those would be the same people who will judge you, snorting their nose at almost everything. And those damned relatives, they’ll always pick out something wrong when everything is fine. Ah! the Malal of our Kashmiri weddings!
But don’t worry, they’ll have marriages in their homes as well. Since, nothing is perfect and therefore, you can always take your sweet revenge! Just kidding! You don’t have to be the bad cop. Let people do what they want to do. Always remember, as you sow, so shall you reap. Everything comes back.
6. Special Day Should be Perfect
Another important side to this is that you dream of a special day all your life, and it is something that you don’t want to spoil. You want this day to be nostalgic and refreshing. We mean, you will have nasty quarrels with your love, right? When relationships get bitter you want something to sweeten and fix it. Your expectations as a couple should be met on your wedding day at least.
How to Have a Great Wedding
Anyway, when it comes to weddings, the expenditure will take place. Simply put, you can spend more on the things which actually make your special day truly worthwhile and not artificial.
If you are not someone who is trying to win over people by showing off their wealth and status, great, no tension for you at all! When you start showing off, you make things quite artificial.
As the one who wants to celebrate in the true sense, wealth doesn’t matter that much. We mean it does, but what actually matters is that you share your happiness with people you love. Particularly, with your best possible capacity, not your best possible expenditure.
Make it a memorable wedding for yourselves and not for others. Of course, we don’t in any way mean that be a bad host but just remember ‘Anyone can spend mindlessly, spending wisely is an art.’
We hope that we might have given you a clear perspective of why people spend so much money on weddings. Maybe from now on, you’ll look into things and perhaps deal with them cleverly.
Share your perspective as well in the comments below.