First, a family informs a manzimyoer or creates a matrimonial profile on a website like KhandarStudio.com to start the rishta process of their children. In this post, I have outlined the general process of what happens after that.

Step 1: Background Check

After matrimonial profile details are shared with the other party, and both parties seem to like one another, a background check is done.

Step 2: Meeting the Prospective Partner

Once the background check is complete, the next step is to see or meet the prospective bride or groom. Some families prefer that the prospective bride and groom have a conversation directly without meeting the family or seeing the girl/guy first. This can happen over the phone or in person.

On the other hand, some families want to see the girl/guy first before the two talk to each other. In most cases, this is done discreetly. Once they are satisfied, then the boy and girl will meet or talk.

In the third scenario, some families are more open and may meet over at home, in a garden, or somewhere else. The approach varies from family to family.

Step 3: Ask Children

Once the parties meet, people go home and discuss. At home, after the meeting, parents ask their children if they are happy with the girl or boy. Sometimes, some people ask the boy/girl’s opinion right at the meeting place and do the thaph there and then.

Step 4: Formal Iqraar

If the meeting goes well, and both parties are happy, a formal iqraar (proposal) is sent by the groom’s family. This Thaph ceremony is often accompanied by gifts such as sweets, gold, or other items.

Step 5: Acceptance and Reciprocal Gifts

As a form of acceptance, the bride’s family reciprocates with sweets. This formalizes the Kashmiri rishta, which is followed by a ring, engagement, or Nikah ceremony depending on the families.